


Life and Death

by baeconandeggs, maiesta



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Drama, M/M, Romance, Self-Harm, character harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 07:50:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14848683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baeconandeggs/pseuds/baeconandeggs, https://archiveofourown.org/users/maiesta/pseuds/maiesta
Summary: Baekhyun keeps dying and it took Chanyeol many lifetimes to learn his lesson.





	1. The Poisoned Prince

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt #:** BAE322  
>  **Disclaimer: baeconandeggs/the mods is/are not the author/s of this story. Authors will be credited and tagged after reveals.** The celebrities' names/images are merely borrowed and do not represent who the celebrities are in real life. No offense is intended towards them, their families or friends. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this fictional work. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> **Author's Note:** This fic is chaptered and unbeta-ed! I wrote this as I was reviewing for and taking one of the most important exams in my life (so far). I know I must be mad to join a fest at such an important timeline of my life but R, my dearest R, loves this fest so much that I decided why not. I’d like to thank L for looking out for me and being a “semi-beta” during the early drafts. I’d also like to thank the sweet mods for being kind and patient despite all my extension requests because I just can’t seem to let go of the final draft. And lastly, to the person who wrote this prompt, thank you for stirring my brains finding anything to make this fic work. I hope I did justice to it. ^^

The night the Crown Prince Baekhyun died, Chanyeol, a mere concubine’s son, woke up in the middle of the night to the smell of cherry blossoms in his chamber. He looked all around but no such flower was in sight. 

“Aish, that Crown Prince,” he shook his head with a fond smile on his face.

He figured, since he was already up, that he might as well visit the cherry blossom garden. And there, Chanyeol found him reaching for a cherry blossom twig that was almost broken off its main branch. 

“Crown Prince Baekhyun,” Chanyeol bowed in respect.

“Prince Chanyeol,” the Crown Prince smiled.

“I smelled cherry blossoms in my chamber today.” Chanyeol smiled as he tilted his head.

“Of course you did,” the crown prince smiled as he looked back at him. “You always know where to find me using that special nose you have.”

“Yes, Your Highness. In the Cherry blossom garden. In the middle of the night. With no guards, no attendants, no eunuchs.” Chanyeol could feel Baekhyun roll his eyes. “Why are you trying to reach for it so hard, my Crown Prince?”

“Because this will make me happy.” Baekhyun huffed and Chanyeol chuckled as he watched the other jump up and down for the twig. 

Feeling extra nice that day, Chanyeol reached from behind the other for the lone twig, breaking it off its main branch. The Crown Prince’s breath hitched as he felt the younger prince’s chest leaning on his back.

A gust of wind suddenly blew and Chanyeol stepped around the Crown Prince to protect him. Once it passed, the taller prince dropped his arm and stooped down to the smaller prince’s eye level, offering the twig. 

“Your Highness, it is late and you need to rest. What made you visit the lake-side garden at this ungodly hour?”

The crown prince tried to hide his blush but accepted the twig with both hands. “I’m a cursed person, Chanyeol ah.” he replied with a wistful smile and sighed his confession. “Someone has been poisoning me for the past two seasons. I want to at least add the petals to the concoction to make it look more pleasing.”

“You were— I’ll call the Royal Physician!” Chanyeol turned around but the Crown Prince held his wrist. 

“Chanyeol!” 

“That’s treason!“ he shouted.

“You will not do anything and that’s an order from your Crown Prince!”

“Your Highness, two seasons and you didn’t—” Chanyeol furrowed his eyebrows when Baekhyun shook his head and placed his holy finger onto Chanyeol’s chapped lips. Saying he was mad was an understatement. He was only a few months younger than the Crown Prince but Baekhyun smiled at him as if he knew. He knew his life was ending soon and there was nothing he could do about it. 

The Crown Prince’s eyes held a wisdom way beyond his age and this era. He looked at Chanyeol and gave him a petal. His hand felt warm.

“Chanyeol, your friendship made me survive this long. But things are changing, it’s sooner than I expected but it is time for me to go.” Baekhyun chuckled. “Lighten up a little.”

“How could you laugh at a time like this?”

“Because I’ll live again… When I am reincarnated, I want to have what is only necessary, like unconditional love... To be found by someone who will lov—” 

Baekhyun sighed as he cupped the taller prince’s cheek and Chanyeol felt his stomach lurch as his heart ached with unbearable pain, unshed tears brimming in his eyes. 

“Can’t I be the one to love you instead? I’ll learn to love you enough…” Chanyeol asked, his heart breaking in pieces because he knew the answer before he even asked.

“Chan…” Baekhyun continued, “You’re not ready yet.”

“Ready for what?” The words confused Chanyeol but before he could interject, Baekhyun hushed him once more.

“When you’re ready, find me.”

Those were the last words Crown Prince Baekhyun uttered prior to his death. He was found in the wee hours of the morning in his royal chamber. A cup of his usual night tea with cherry blossom petals lay beside him on his deathbed.


	2. RMS Titanic

The Titanic sailed through the silent waters as Chanyeol slept soundly in a luxurious suite of the cruise ship. Baekhyun, on the other hand, weathered the cold dormitories below. 

They’d been dreaming about each other. Numerous times. Chanyeol could still smell the faint soot at the tip of Baekhyun’s nose.

Neither of them could explain the sudden pull they felt when they laid eyes on each other at the start of the journey at the pier, causing the peasant to gamble his life’s savings for just another glimpse of the tall gentleman. Unbeknownst to him, the ticket was a sham and the tall gentleman, acutely aware of what happened, secretly paid for his entry. 

The cruise sailed lively. After days of discreet searching, Chanyeol finally found the peasant in the vast and heavily stratified ship. They shared their first curious kiss, just to see how it feels. It was breathtaking and they wanted more. 

So they did. In the carriage. In Chanyeol’s room. Behind a staircase. Both naked with sweat-covered bodies united as one. 

The following night, the ship hit an iceberg. 

 

Chanyeol held Baekhyun’s arms tightly as they dangled from the sinking ship. 

“Don’t you dare let go Byun Baekhyun!” Chanyeol fought the burning pain in his arms, clutching the railing above him, and tightening his grip on Baekhyun’s injured arm.

“I love y—”

“No! Hell no!!! Tell me you love me after we survive this!” 

“We’ll meet again!” Baekhyun cried out, too tired and hurt, his arm bleeding, his energy fading. “You’ll find me! You always do!”

“No—" Chanyeol cried as he gripped Baekhyun tighter than before, he can already feel him slipping from his grasp. “You’re not even trying to hold on!”

“Let me go.” Baekhyun whispered, tears streaming down his face, completely letting go of Chanyeol’s arm. He knew they both couldn’t make it. The railing began to give under their combined weight. “Live…”

“Stop saying that! Hold on! Aaaahh!” Chanyeol screamed as hope coursed through when his eyes caught his friends running to him. They reached over to pull him up. “Baekhyun! Secure him! Secure him first!”

“Just let me go,” Baekhyun closed his eyes as he tried to avoid the judging glances of Chanyeol’s rich friends. Even as he died, they would never accept a peasant like him. This lifetime won’t do. This society would never accept him. Ignoring Chanyeol’s pleas to hold on, he continued his wait for the inevitable, “This is my curse,”

Chanyeol pulled and pulled. He refused to let go. Even when Baekhyun had lost all hope, he held on. And as Baekhyun fell on top of him on the deck, panting and holding his bleeding arm, Chanyeol closed his eyes and took a moment to thank God and all their guardian angels. 

He cupped Baekhyun’s cheeks and kissed him senseless in front of his peers. He had nothing to lose. Let them judge. He found his everything. His heart blossomed as he felt Baekhyun slip his tongue inside, tasting and memorizing every nook and corner of his mouth.

“I love you…” Chanyeol whispered in-between kisses.

“I—,” Baekhyun fought back the tears. He nodded. He knew his borrowed time is up. To give Chanyeol false hope in this era was futile and would ruin him but he at least wanted him to know that he loved him with everything he had. “Find me fast, okay?”

They barely heard it. There was a creak from the ship. One tug. The ship snapped. And down they went. Chanyeol felt several pairs of arms grab hold of him. But all he felt was a push from the one in his arms. And in seconds, his arms were empty.

Silence.

Chanyeol felt the arms around him grip him tighter than before. He thrashed and wailed Baekhyun’s name over and over again. He fought with the rescuers and pleaded they search the fallen ship again and again. But Byun Baekhyun never resurfaced from the icy waters.


	3. Take a Leap of Faith

Chanyeol was a recently promoted co-pilot, dressed in his uniform and Baekhyun was a kindergarten teacher taking photos of random strangers in the streets of Paris, the City of Love.

Click. Chanyeol saw the flash before he heard the shutter. He looked at the photographer with curious eyes.

“I know what you’re going to say,” Baekhyun said. “You look better in person.” He winked.

Chanyeol scoffed.

“What?” the teacher whined. “You kept telling me you’ll find me.”

Chanyeol scratched his head.

“You even said ‘I’ll come find you’.” Baekhyun’s jaw dropped. “Are you for real? Am I that hideous that you’re going to pretend we don’t talk to each other in our heads?? Okay that sounds a bit psychotic but—”

Chanyeol chuckled. Their ability to read each other’s minds baffled him so much that he flew all the way to Paris. His dreams didn’t give him the answers he needed. So he vowed to seek the other. However, it seemed that his questions would remain unanswered. 

“Are you physically mute?” Baekhyun bluntly asked.

“Are you really this talkative even in real life?” Chanyeol pinched the bridge of his nose as he sighed and shook his head. He just came from a 12 hour flight from Seoul to Paris. He did accept this flight because he wanted to meet a certain someone, but now that he’s facing said someone, he wasn’t sure if he should’ve. 

_This was a mistake._

“Well, I’m sorry for not being up to your standards? Is it because I’m not as handsome as the crown prince or as charming as the cruise ship boy?” Baekhyun placed his hands at his waist, letting the camera sling dangle on his tiny body as he looked up to the night sky and sighed. “It’s my hair right? It’s too long, I should’ve gotten a haircut before we met. Maybe bleached it, too.”

Chanyeol rolled his eyes. “Do you ever shut up?”

“Oh, you mean that!” Baekhyun smiled.

And it was no ordinary smile.

Chanyeol only ever saw it in his dreams. But Baekhyun in the flesh smiled radiantly, almost as if there was a halo of light around him. His breath hitched. And his heart raced, beating loud and hard against his rib cage. _Fuck._

“What’s your problem? If you want to say something, I’m here now. Stop cursing me in your head!” Baekhyun gritted his teeth. This was not how he planned to finally meet Chanyeol, the boy he’d been dreaming of his whole life. Literally.

“No, I didn’t mean for you to hear that-” Baekhyun gasped loudly, obviously offended at his choice of words. Chanyeol struggled to make it right. “No, what I mean is… You smile so beautifully, and I just want to put you in my luggage and go wherever my next flight goes…”

Baekhyun paused, squinted both eyes and tilted his head, a sly smirk forming on his lips. “Did you just ask me out?”

Chanyeol’s eyes widened, completely taken aback by the smaller guy’s teasing. “I—really? I did?”

“Have you ever asked anyone out before?” Baekhyun raised one eyebrow at him. Chanyeol shrugged which made Baekhyun sigh. “Of course not. You’re used to girls flocking around you asking you out. Am I correct?”

“That sounds pretty accurate… Is that a bad thing?”

Baekhyun laughed. And Chanyeol fell even more.

They had fun that night. Baekhyun toured him around the famous landmarks and took numerous pictures every step of the way. The food was nice but Chanyeol deduced it wouldn’t have tasted that nice if not for the company. 

Baekhyun was truly insatiable and Chanyeol acknowledged and embraced all the love that he felt for the shorter man. Both in this lifetime as well as from the overflowing emotions from his dreams. Baekhyun radiated purity and happiness. He was a source of light on his own. He smiled and laughed at everything. 

One day, Baekhyun showed him his class of cute little toddlers and Chanyeol could only be amazed at how patient Baekhyun was in dealing with the little rascals.

“But they’re so adorable. They’re angels. It is our duty to show them what’s right and wrong.” Baekhyun lectured when Chanyeol kept scowling at the children, making one little girl cry. “Remove that scowl. Start smiling. Children are sponges. They mimic everything they see. If they see goodness, positivity, and happiness, then that would start their lifetimes well and their trajectories would fare much better.”

 

When Chanyeol’s week-long stay ended, he found it difficult to say goodbye to the kindergarten teacher.

“We’ll meet again. Besides, I have you here...” Baekhyun tapped the side of his head.

Chanyeol nodded in reply. He gave Baekhyun a light kiss on the lips and a promise to come back once his flight schedule eased up a bit.

Baekhyun blushed and nodded. “I already waited for you for forever. What’s a few more months?” The shorter male grabbed on to the pilot’s collar pulling him close as he tiptoed, his lips grazing Chanyeol’s once more, achingly and needily. “Fly safely.”

Chanyeol didn’t leave that night. 

He spent it loving every corner of Baekhyun.

 

“Chanyeol.” Baekhyun asked as he snuggled closer, pulling the blankets closer to his chest to cover their nakedness.

“Hmm?”

“What do you do when I die?”

“Nothing…”

“No, really..”

“Baek—”

“Yeol~ Just answer me..”

“I learn to cope. I need to. But life never feels the same again in each lifetime….. There is a huge hole here, in my heart… and my world is just—I find myself constantly walking around spaced out during the day, and falling asleep to what little memories we have at night.”

“Chan...”

“Hey… I’m fine, you’re here again…”

“Do you know that there were many more lifetimes where you never responded to me?”

Chanyeol shook his head.

“I figured… But you would always be my last… My last random kiss, my last handshake, or the last face I see..” A wistful smile appeared on Baekhyun’s face. Chanyeol hugged him closer and kissed the top of his head. Baekhyun sighed and continued. “Those times were hard because you didn’t know me… And I had nothing to hold on to… But it wasn’t as painful as the lifetimes where you treat me like I’m the bane of your existence and you wished I’d go away like I’m some sort of disease..”  
“In behalf of my other lifetimes… I’m sorry.”

“Is this ever gonna end?”

 

 

It was a few weeks after when Chanyeol was called in by his company and was advised to fly to the main branch.  
“Come with me.”  
“Go ahead. I’ll be there. I’ll find you.”  
And so they flew.

 

 

He bought a new camera for Baekhyun’s birthday and the teacher was ecstatic at his new toy.  
“Will you be okay alone?” Chanyeol felt off that day but he couldn’t put his finger on it.  
“I’ll be fine. This is the tallest building in the world, I have to take pictures!”  
“Okay, okay. I’ll come back to fetch you tonight for dinner?”  
“Alright. I’m in here. Always.” Baekhyun tapped two fingers to his forehead and pecked his lips. “Good luck on your job!”

 

Chanyeol saw it in his office’s TV first. The first hijacked plane just hit one of the Twin Towers.

 

_C: Baekhyun! Where are you?  
B: It’s time. There’s another incoming plane.  
C: No, please. I can’t live without you.  
B: You’ll come find me in our next lifetime.  
C: A week. We only had a week.  
B: It’s definitely longer than when we were in Titanic.  
C: I can’t live in a world without you.  
B: Yeol, this is my curse.  
C: Don’t make me live in a world without you.  
B: Find me._

 

The second plane hit and as the skyscraper crumbled down, so did his broken heart.

 

_Sometimes in my darkest thoughts, I wish I’d never learned.  
How it is to be in love, and have that love returned._


	4. Rejection

Bzzzzzzt. 

The sound of the alarm woke Chanyeol up, still wearing his white coat from the late night rounds. The sleepy surgical intern sighed. 

He saw Baekhyun in his dreams again. And as always, he can tell what was coming. He was near, he knows. The dream felt too real, too recent. And god, Baekhyun was crying to sad love songs in the car and he couldn’t stop listening. He had such a beautiful voice. How could someone so small and lean belt out those melodies? _And that sad smile_ …

Chanyeol sighed as he draped his forearm over his star-dusted eyes, willing himself to sleep if that would mean seeing even a ghost of that smile again.

 

~~~

 

“Park Chanyeol, are you having “the dreams” again?”

Chanyeol looked behind and saw his childhood friend Do Kyungsoo enter the hospital café. Rolling his eyes, he continued to sip his cold americano and faced his friends. “Sehun-ah, did you know that there are 5 stages of sleep? The first three occurs with the non REM type while the last two is in the REM sleep. You can have dreams in either stage, but it is in the REM sleep that the most intense dreams occur.”

“Hyung, I’m studying for my Surgery test,“ the youngest of the group, Oh Sehun, sighed.

“What dreams? What is he talking about?” Suho, the eldest, asked.

“Ohhhh~” A thought crossed the maknae’s mind and he smirked. “Is that—" Suho lightly smacked Sehun behind his head. “—Ow.”

“Stop filling your head with useless thoughts and study. I won’t pay for your overpriced coffee,” Suho remarked, tapping the piles of lecture notes Sehun was currently working on re-reading.

“Hyung! I’m 24 years old! I’m in medical school! Why are you doing this to me?” Sehun gaped at Suho. He then faced Chanyeol. “Chanyeol hyung, how about that favor you owe me? Pay for my coffee? I’m poor.” 

“I’ll pay for your coffee, Oh Sehun. Just report to me Chanyeol’s whereabouts in the next 10 days.” Kyungsoo took out a bill and placed it on the table in front of Sehun.

“Why? I know where he’s gonna be. We all know where he’s gonna be. Interns are like prisoners in the hospital. Besides, he’s rotating in surgery, he’s never at home.” Sehun replied. “I bet 50,000 won that he’ll be in the operating room tonight as well.”

Suho lightly smacked the back of Sehun’s head once more. “You have Surgery midterms coming up, stop snooping around and focus. Where the hell are you even gonna get 50,000 won?”

Kyungsoo stared at Chanyeol, squinting his eyes. The taller guy looked up and smirked at his best friend. “Why? Afraid I’ll go off somewhere again?”

“Yah! Park Chanyeol, do you know how worried your parents got when this happened ten years ago?” Kyungsoo crossed his arms, taking a seat beside Chanyeol.

“What happened? I didn’t know this.” Suho asked. “As your sunbae and mentor, you should’ve told me if you had mental issues.”

Chanyeol sighed. “Suho-hyung, it’s nothing. Kyungsoo is exaggerating.”

“No, I’m not!” Kyungsoo creased his eyebrows and turned to Suho while he pointed an accusing finger at Chanyeol. “Ten years ago, this person got lost in a concert. Hyung, I’m not a medical professional but I know hearing an orchestra in the middle of a rock concert, smelling seawater in a temple, and feeling a summer breeze in the middle of winter is never a normal thing.”

Sehun looked up from his readings, adjusting the eyeglasses perched on his nose. “Maybe he’s messing with you?”

“He wasn’t! He was very adamant about it.” Kyungsoo frustratingly messed his non-existent hair. “Aish! Fine, do whatever—”

_[Buzzing of the hospital intercom] Surgery Response team to ER critical area now._

Chanyeol hurriedly finished his americano as Suho went ahead and ran out of the hospital café. “I’m fine Kyungsoo. I won’t act on my dreams anymore. I’ve learned my lesson.” With one last wave, Chanyeol ran out, leaving Kyungsoo alone with Sehun.

 

“Hyung,” Sehun looked at Kyungsoo. “What dreams were you talking about? Did something bad happen ten years ago?”

Kyungsoo leaned back in his chair and sighed. He rolled his head and shoulders alternately several times to ease his tensed muscles. Taking a sip from Sehun’s mug, he said, “Chanyeol feels things he’s not meant to feel. It’s like he’s connected to this other person from another part of the world.”

“Like… telepathy?”

“More than telepathy. It’s scary because ten years ago, Chanyeol started dreaming about this person and then one day he told me that person was in danger. It came to a point where he ran out of the concert with just his phone and his wallet. We didn’t see him until the police called a few hours after. He got stabbed here.” He pointed at his right lower abdomen.

“No way!” Sehun gasped. “Oh my fucking god!”

“Language, Oh Sehun,” Chen commented, who was sitting on the sofa next to them.

“Shut up Chen hyung,” Sehun scrunched his nose. “You’re not even part of this conversation. You’re acting like Suho hyung—”

“Who also happens to be my boyfriend, now please mind your language,” Chen shrugged as he sipped his black coffee, and continued reading the day’s newspaper, one ear monitoring Sehun’s language.

“I swear I didn’t get adopted into Suho hyung’s household to be babied like this. I’m 24 years old, for f—crying out loud!” Sehun whined as he faced Kyungsoo once more, acting almost like he was returning to the meal’s main course. “Of course Yeol hyung’s fine now, right?”

Kyungsoo shook his head, both at Sehun and Chen, as well as Chanyeol’s condition. “The feeling thing has no pause button. But somehow, I figured if Yeol starts dreaming about this person, then he’s near. And if he’s near, Yeol would feel this insurmountable urge to find him.”

“But Yeol hyung said he learned his lesson already.”

“I hope so… I’m just worried fate is not on our side…”

 

~~~

 

Chanyeol stepped on the water spray as he rinsed the antiseptic from his arms. For some odd reason, he felt chills all over his body. It was colder than he expected, despite the warmers he had on beneath his scrub suit. He tilted his head as he looked at himself in the mirror, creasing his eyebrows. 

There was something wrong with today. He could feel it. His lungs could barely breathe, but he knew it wasn’t a panic attack. A male nurse named Kai looked at him as if he’d grown a second head.

“Is everything all right, Dr. Park?” Kai asked, concern etched on his young but experienced face.

Chanyeol nodded as he stepped into the operating room where Suho was already prepping the patient like the diligent second year surgical resident he was. 

Kai sped past him and offered him the surgical gown, tying it expertly. Chanyeol stood in front of the instruments as he counted with the OR nurse, making sure everything was ready for the procedure.

“Dr. Kim, endorsing patient Hong Gil Dong, approximate age: mid-20s, weight and height unknown, estimated at 60kg, and 170cm. Permission to continue?” the first year ER resident named Yixing asked.

Suho nodded.

“Patient came in with a deep, lacerated wound on the right lower flank accompanied by multiple lacerations over his trunk and arms secondary to a vehicular accident. A few minutes prior to consult, patient was driving over a bridge on the Han River when a truck lost its brakes and accidentally collided with patient’s car on the driver’s side, pushing it over the railings and into the river. Rescue workers extracted the patient within—” 

The ER resident, Yixing, droned on as Chanyeol found himself lightheaded as if something was pulling his brain.

“—admitted under the service of Neurosurgery, co-managed by General Surgery.” Yixing took a deep breath. “No information regarding the patient’s relatives yet. There was no identification card on his person. We expect to hear from the rescuers soon once they find his belongings in the car.”

“Who admitted him from neurosurg?” Suho asked.

“Me.” Minseok entered the operating room, and Kai immediately scrambled to the third year neurosurgery resident to assist with his gown. “Thanks Kai. Start of your shift?”

“Yes, Dr. Kim.” Kai nodded politely as he went back to his post, crossing out things in his checklist.

“Hyungnim,” Suho nodded at Minseok, his real life older brother.

“Hey there, Suho-ho-ho~ I didn’t know you were on duty?” Minseok smiled at his younger brother and playfully bumped butts with him. 

“I’m mentoring Chanyeol today.” Suho gestured to Chanyeol with his nose. The surgical intern waved at Minseok, politely bowing.

“Oooh~ intern! Can I borrow him for the week? This patient will need close monitoring in the NeuroSurgical ICU.” 

“Uhhhh—” Suho looked at Chanyeol who only shrugged. “Sure, why not? He could use the learning experience. Chanyeol, drapes please.”

“Thanks dongsaeng~” Minseok smiled as he remembered something. “Oh! The rescue workers just called and we have a name on our Hong Gil Dong.”

Chanyeol handed out the drapes as he started laying out the suction tip, cautery set, and operating sponges on the surgical field.

“Yep! Just got new information too.” Yixing announced as he pocketed his cellphone. “Patient Byun Baekhyun, 26 years old, 58kg, 174cm, lives in Cheongdamdong, Gangnam Gu, Seoul; organ donor for 2 years.”

Chanyeol’s blood ran cold. He knew. He’d felt it already. It was him. 

_“Chanyeol?” a voice called out._

“Organ donor?” Minseok asked, eyebrows creased. Chanyeol’s head snapped fast towards his senior, eyes wide, as he felt the room spin around him.

_“Chanyeol,” the voice called out again._

Chanyeol looked at each person in the operating suite but no one was looking at him. That left only one person. He knew who was calling him. Fuck. His head hurt.

“Dr. Park, are you okay?” Kai asked him once more.

“I—I’m—He’s—” Chanyeol felt dizzy and his vision was fading, white spots filling his visual field.

The limp hand on the operating table fidgeted, uncurling and laying over Chanyeol’s trembling hand. Chanyeol felt the tremendous heartache again. And the warmth filling him from shoulders and hips started to heat up even more. He could feel his knees giving in. He wanted to vomit.

 _“Calm down, my love,”_ were the last words Chanyeol heard in his head before he blacked out.

 

Chanyeol woke with an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, a pulse oximeter on his right index finger and an IV line on his left hand. He peeked at the monitor to his right showing his vital signs and he realized there were monitors on his chest area too. He tried to sit up and groaned as he felt a wave of dizziness come over him. His bedside nurse noticed him stir. 

“Dr. Park, you’re awake. It’s now 10 in the morning. How are you feeling?”

“Dizzy…”

“You hit the side of your forehead when you lost consciousness in Dr. Kim’s operating room. We called plastics and had your sister notified and she stitched you up. But Dr. Park’s in an OR now, would you like me to call her?”

“No, no. That won’t be necessary. My concussion is not as bad as it seems… I think,” Chanyeol replied, slowly rotating his head, stretching his neck muscles and rolling his shoulders to ease the tensed muscles there.

“Would you like to have a meal now..?” the nurse asked tentatively. Hospital food sucked and they both knew it. Seeing Chanyeol scoff, the nurse sheepishly took that as a no and took her leave.

Chanyeol ran a hand over the top of his head, careful not to touch his recently stitched up forehead. Then he remembered Baekhyun and a wave of nausea came over him. 

He closed his eyes and concentrated on Baekhyun’s steady breathing but all he could feel was the uncomfortable tube in Baekhyun’s airways attached to a machine urging him to breathe. The air smelled of antiseptic and artificially humidified air. The mattress he was lying on curved to his body; he could hear the light mumbling and the sound of multiple monitors beeping simultaneously as nurses passed by with their heavy trolleys.

Baekhyun was in the NeuroSurgical Intensive Care Unit. Chanyeol knew not because it was protocol to transfer post-operative patients in the NSICU but because he heard the voices of familiar people like Dr. Kim Minseok and the NSICU head nurse discussing DNR procedures. Do Not Resuscitate. His Advanced Directive. Baekhyun pre-signed a form stating he does not want to be brought back should his heart stop beating. A deep unfamiliar voice echoed and Chanyeol knew Baekhyun’s guardian was signing off his life completely.

Adrenaline filled Chanyeol’s blood as he pushed the red button calling for a nurse. He asked for cotton balls and a tape which his bedside nurse procured from the pocket of her scrubs. After removing his monitors himself, his bedside nurse had no choice but to help remove his IV line without question. She’d had too many doctors as patients and she knew they weren’t called the worst patients for nothing. Once free from the hospital accessories, Chanyeol grabbed his shirt and pants as the nurse quietly took her leave to attend to other patients. 

He did a quick glance at the whole room to see if he left anything. Certain that he had everything, including his phone and wallet, he grabbed his doctor’s coat by the door and opened it.

“Where are you going?” Kyungsoo’s voice stopped him at the door, and his friend appeared with a bag of bagels in his right arm and a cup of coffee in hand.

“Just gonna get some fresh air.” Chanyeol lied through his teeth as he excused himself and hurriedly jogged out into the hallway.

Kyungsoo squinted his eyes and glanced at the lack of IV lines and wires attached to Chanyeol’s body.

 

~~~

 

Chanyeol stared at the tubes in Baekhyun’s tiny body. He looked so fragile and weak, just like 10 years ago when he found the teenage boy fending off some thugs in the alley. 

10 years ago, Baekhyun called out for help. He ran out of the concert hall as fast as he could and took a cab towards the nearest theater a few blocks away. He remembered the helpless look on both their faces when they both realized the thugs were armed. 

Chanyeol remembered distracting them so Baekhyun could escape. It worked for a while and he was happy to see Baekhyun run away from the mess. But he knew the boy came back and brought him to the hospital after the incident happened. He never showed his face again until now.

 _“Chanyeollie,”_ a familiar voice echoed in his head. He closed his eyes, trying to close off his mind and throw the unwanted sound away.

“Dr. Park,” Chanyeol turned around and was greeted by Suho and Minseok.

“Dr Kim, Dr Kim,” Chanyeol bowed to each of his sunbaes as they closed the sliding glass door, enclosing them in Baekhyun’s room.

“Are you okay? You gave us quite a scare back there,” Suho looked at Chanyeol worriedly.

“I’m okay. Just a bit hypoglycemic. Shouldn’t have been too bad but this happened so…” Chanyeol pointed at his bandaged head and the two residents laughed.

“Ahh… I have to prepare myself for Yoora noona’s nagging. ‘Yah! I only have one brother what the hell are you doing starving him?’ Ahh, I’m getting goosebumps.” Minseok chuckled as he crossed his arms in front of him, crumpling his crisp doctor’s coat over his OR scrub suit.

 _“Chanyeollie,”_ the voice called out again, desperately. Chanyeol winced at the pain in the voice and covered it up by massaging the back of his neck.

 _“Shut up,”_ he said to the voice in his head. The voice obliged with a sad hum.

“Hyung...” Suho chuckled at his older brother. Looking at Chanyeol, he tilted his head curiously. “You okay Chanyeollie?”

Chanyeol took a deep breath before nodding. “Yeah, I’m fine, just a bit of headache.”

“You should get a bit more rest. You look exhausted.” Minseok commented.

“I’m fine, I have to monitor this person anyway, right? Your orders?” Chanyeol shrugged as he rolled his shoulders once more to relieve some built up tension.

“About that…” Suho started as he looked towards Minseok. “Hyung talked to the guardian. He signed the official DNR form and consented for the operation.”

“Operation?” Chanyeol asked. He knew, deep down, what it was for but the thought of some other people benefiting for a life lost was overwhelming him with uncalled-for anger he didn’t know existed.

“We’re harvesting his organs,” Minseok bluntly declared, creasing his eyebrows at the curious expression on the intern’s face. “You don’t seem too pleased?”

“No! I mean—Yes, I—No, what I mean is...” Chanyeol peeked at the body behind him. “He’s really gone?”

Suho nodded. “We declared him brain dead just a few hours ago and talked about the organ donation with his guardian. He has a friend in need of a heart and they’re compatible.”

Chanyeol glanced at the silent form of Baekhyun. It doesn’t feel right. He shook his head and walked out of the room, bowing to his seniors along the way. He barely heard his seniors’ reminders to keep safe and arrange his schedule.

 

Moving fast in the hallways of the hospital, he unintentionally bumped to Sehun. Surgery and Anatomy notes and textbooks scattered on the ground.

“Hyung!” the startled medical student exclaimed, picking up his notes on the ground.

The surgical intern snapped out of his reverie and helped Sehun pick up his notes. “I’m sorry. I’m just out of it.”

Sehun watched as Chanyeol hurriedly and almost dazedly walked past him afterwards. Tilting his head, he decided it might be best to report what happened to Kyungsoo. He composed a concise message regarding what just happened and the state Chanyeol looked like as he left the hospital, sending it to Kyungsoo.

“He won’t do anything rash, right?”

 

~~~~~

 

_“B-Baek?”_

In his mind, Baekhyun let out a gasp. Unshed tears threatened to pour out. In 10 years, Chanyeol never called out for him. Not after the incident years ago. 

_“Chan”_ he replied. Baekhyun could feel his lungs expand and contract as the mechanical ventilator kept his physical body breathing.

_“They’ll harvest—”_

_“I know. I heard.”_ The comatose man didn’t know why he feels the urge to soothe him. His gut told him that Chanyeol was in a crossroads. And he didn’t want anything to happen to him. Baekhyun was dying. That was the truth. He was as good as dead in this era. And he could finally do some good with it.

_“Chanyeol.”_

_“Hmm…?”_

_“Don’t do it.”_

_“I—I’m...”_

_“I can smell it too…. I can hear where you are… I can feel what you’re holding…”_

_“T-This is the only way...”_ Chanyeol’s panicked thoughts were making Baekhyun more nervous.

_“The way for what?”_

_“To break the curse… Your curse… A life for a life… I can’t—Baekhyun, I’m sorry… I should’ve died back then… I know what you did… You saved me...”_

_“Chanyeol? Don’t do it… You don’t even know half of it!”_ Baekhyun felt his heart beat fast. He wanted to stop Chanyeol from his stupidity. _“This isn’t the way… Chanyeol stop it!!!”_

Baekhyun had bargained his soul. A lifetime on top of lifetimes of betrayal and tragedy. To save the soul he loved the most. He loved Chanyeol. He always had. 

How convenient was it that even though they couldn’t meet in person, they can sense what the other does. A special connection just between the two of them. Baekhyun knows that’s not just it. 

He always will be in love with him. He can endure lifetimes filled with death but he’s terrified to live in a world where Chanyeol doesn’t exist. 

And so he kept stepping up to the podium and declared his intentions to extend Chanyeol’s life. The deities scoffed at his plea as he closed his eyes and bore the brunt of the ridicule. He reminded himself that he was doing this so Chanyeol could continue living his life happily just as he had been in their previous lifetimes.

 _“Chanyeol…”_ Baekhyun tried once again to reach out to Chanyeol with his calm and soothing voice. _“I’m dying—to save you…”_

_“Baekhyun, I told you a lifetime ago... I can’t live in a world without you…“_

_“No… Don’t be foolish! Taking your life is a mortal sin. This is different. There are repercussions—”_

_“I will break your curse..”_

_“The only way to break the curse is to love me with your whole heart! And you did! You loved me enough to throw your life away by saving me!”_ Baekhyun growled in frustration. _“I did this to me! I chose to not let you go because you deserve to live your life!”_

_“You think it doesn’t kill me inside?! I know things Baek… You think it’s just you…? You must’ve forgotten that I faced death before too…”_

_“Chanyeol... please…”_

_“I promise to love you with my whole heart. There will be no more regrets. I will not hold back. I am yours now until forever… I will wait for you in our next lifetime Byun Baekhyun.”_

_“Ch-Chan…”_

Baekhyun could feel their connection waning. It was an odd feeling. Like he was being torn piece by piece. It almost felt like someone was forcefully slicing his heart into pieces, and stealing some of it from him. 

If Baekhyun could move, he would be curled upon himself all doubled up in the deep anguish he now felt. He wanted to cry out loud. He wanted to shout, thrash and destroy. 

The feeling of Chanyeol’s consciousness slipping away from him was unbearable. 

“F-find me… Find me fast…”


	5. Epilogue

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Coming!” Baekhyun shouted as he jumped off his bed and wore his oversized bathrobe and indoor slippers.

Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.

“I’m coming! I’m coming! Geez!”

Baekhyun opened the door and gasped.

“Hi,” a smiling Chanyeol waved his hand.

Baekhyun laughed and slapped Chanyeol’s cheek hard.

Slap to the shoulders. Slap to his other shoulder. Slap to the chest.

“Ow—ouch—ow—okay… I deserve that,” Chanyeol sheepishly smiled as he rubbed the sore spots.

“No more saying no! We will finish this lifetime happily!” Baekhyun huffed and Chanyeol tried to look remorseful. It wasn’t gonna work. Baekhyun was too cute. “Don’t laugh! I’m serious! If you want to live this lifetime together, we play by my rules!”

“Uhuh..” Chanyeol nodded and smiled at him fondly. “I found you…”

Baekhyun sighed as he stared at the tall man, trying his best not to smile. “You found me..”

“We’re really gonna just stare at each other all day?”

“That can be arranged.”

“Baekhyun-ah...” Chanyeol stepped forward and cupped Baekhyun’s cheek.

“Chanyeol-ah...” Baekhyun hummed as he closed his eyes and leaned into his hand.

“So I’m here…” 

“So you’re here…”

Chanyeol nodded and they both burst out laughing.

Baekhyun grinned at Chanyeol. “Mine?”

“Yours. Always. Forever. In this lifetime and the next. For all eternity.”

“I’m gonna die though…”

“But we’re alive right now. Death will eventually get tired of us. You have all of me and that’s what matters.”

Baekhyun smiled in reply as Chanyeol wrapped his arms around him and finally kissed his lips.

 

 

==== Somewhere in purgatory ====

“Fuck my life… They’re in this lifetime too?!” The grim reaper whined. He felt consoling pats on his shoulder as his colleagues wished him luck with the couple. 

The grim reaper read the date on both of their death cards. “Aw hell yeah! I still have decades to go before I have to deal with them! Thank god!!!”


End file.
